How to Spot a Crazy Sister

You know your sis is crazy when she only speaks to you in code, and the code is basically like this:

Your sis says: something about herself
Your sis means: "I am so awesome. You suck."

Your sis asks: something about your hubby or b/f
Your sis means: "Your hubby sucks. Mine is awesome."

Your sis asks: something about you
Your sis means: "You suck."

It's usually pretty easy to spot if your sis is speaking in the above code, but if you have any doubts, you can do the following quiz to check:

1) Did your sis not talk to you for over 7 years and only start talking to you after you had a baby? And does she now only email to tell you what you're doing wrong with your baby?

2) When you tell your sis that your baby loves grapes, does she email you loads of articles on how grapes are a choking hazard?

3) Does your sister seem lost and unhappy in every conversation, unless she finds an opp to tell you that you suck?

4) Does your sister uninvitedly and habitually tell you what to do with your life, and take offense if you don't go and do it immediately?

5) Whenever your sister finds out that your baby is ill, does she tell you it's your fault?

If the answer to one or more of the above questions is 'yes', then there is a good chance that your sister is speaking in crazy code, and that she is clinically crazy.